


who's gonna be the first...

by scepticallyopenminded



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Gen, Implied Nouis Relationship, M/M, Zayn leaving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-05
Updated: 2015-12-05
Packaged: 2018-05-05 01:04:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5355011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scepticallyopenminded/pseuds/scepticallyopenminded
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Don’t know that it was that hard for him. Never cared much for this, did ‘e?” </p>
<p>Niall swallows, staring back at Louis with large eyes, hurt evident within them. He pauses, but shakes his head after a long moment. </p>
<p>“Nah. He didn’t.” Niall stops, rolls his lip around in his mouth for a second. “Thought he cared about us, though.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	who's gonna be the first...

**Author's Note:**

> this has been running around in my head since March 25, and it's about eight months late, but I finally got it down on paper. or computer screen I guess. 
> 
> this is the first 1d fic I've finished in...forever. I'm super fuckin' happy with it. even though it did hurt a bit to actually write. 
> 
> lots of Nouis, kinda subtle. I'm an equal opportunity shipper but fuck me I've got a thing for Nouis and Nourry. 
> 
> also I'm a fuck up and decided to take the title from "Spaces" by One Direction.

Louis finds Niall that night, lying in his hotel bed, curled up. His eyes are puffy and red but dry, now, and he just looks up at Louis as he enters the room, the soft _click_ of the door shutting behind him.

“Hey,” he says, biting his lip. Niall sniffs, quirking half a sad smile at him, waiting another second before gesturing him over. Louis doesn’t even think about it, just kicks off his shoes and slides off his jeans and climbs in next to Niall, curling around him.

“How’re you?”

It’s a moment before Niall answers, but when he does it’s with a rough voice.

“Not cryin’ anymore, so there’s that.”

Louis’ quiet at that, because he knows the feeling; he hasn’t cried himself, never one to do it easily, but Harry’d teared up a bit at the news, even Liam looked on the verge of something, and he felt it, too. Right painful, it’d hit him hard, too. Lost a best friend a bit, hadn’t he?

“Not like we weren’t expecting it though,” he tries, and hears Niall snort derisively and look up at him, incredulous.

“Nah,” he answers, pushing his head into Louis’ neck, “Thought we might have the rest of the tour at least, though.”

Louis sighs, wrapping his arms tightly around the younger lad.

“Did you really though?”

Niall doesn’t answer, but Louis can hear the sniffles. He just pulls Niall closer, biting his lip again, unsure, and hurt as well.

***

“You talked to him yet?”

It’s nearly an hour later before Niall speaks again, and Louis’ drifting on the edge of sleep and awake. He jerks a bit, when Niall speaks, but looks across the pillow at him. He nods.

“Tried calling. He wouldn’t pick up. Texted him, he answered. One word answers, isn’t saying much at all.”

Niall nods, eyebrows furrowing.

“How hard a decision ya think it was?” he asks, and Louis can’t - Louis can’t lie to him. He doesn’t want to, but he can’t even then. Niall’s always been able to see through it.

“Don’t know that it was that hard for him. Never cared much for this, did ‘e?”

Niall swallows, staring back at Louis with large eyes, hurt evident within them. He pauses, but shakes his head after a long moment.

“Nah. He didn’t.” Niall stops, rolls his lip around in his mouth for a second. “Thought he cared about us, though.”

And that - and Louis’ heart breaks, at that. Because - because he’d always seemed to. Care a lot, that was. There were fights, sure, of course, small ones usually that were easily resolved within a day. Once he and Harry’d had a bigger one, about something stupid in retrospect but had seemed incredibly important at the moment, that had lasted a few days of the silent treatment, and there’d been a few of those in the course of their near-five years, but their bond, all of their bonds, were stronger than that and those.

So they’d all thought.

“You mad at him?” Louis asks, because he’s curious and he wants to know if his own feelings are justified or if he’s just being stupid and selfish. Niall shrugs.

“Bit, I guess. Bit angry with him for leaving us, bit angry with ‘im for leaving the fans like that.”

Louis sighs again, pressing his head further into the pillow and keeping his eyes on Niall.

“Bit hard _not_ to be mad when it goes like this, innit?”

Niall just sniffs again, putting his hand on Louis’ waist and pulling him closer again.

***

They sleep, for a few hours, the sun just peaking through the the crack in the blackout curtains of the hotel when Louis wakes again. There’s a soft tickle on his chin, and he glances down to find Niall’s head pushed into his neck, Niall himself half on top of Louis, still asleep.

He sighs, glancing at the clock - too early, god, why was he _awake_ \- but he felt awake. Tired, but he knew he wasn’t going to be able to get any more sleep right then.

He looks back down at Niall, bringing up the arm that wasn’t tucked behind Niall’s neck to brush the blond’s hair back. Niall snuffs in his sleep, pressing his face further into Louis’ neck. Louis smiles a bit, running his fingers through Niall’s hair again.

It’s a moment later that he hears the buzzing on the bedside table, and looks over to see Niall’s phone, lighting up with a new notification. He reaches over, grabs it, quickly types in Niall’s passcode. The notification is a text from Harry - _you seen lou he’s not in his room and not answering his phone_ \- and he sighs a little, typing back a _I’m in nialls room_. Harry’s reply comes within a minute - _be there in a mo with Liam_ \- and Louis sighs again, setting Niall’s phone down again and rubbing at his eyes before he flips on the lamp next to the bed.

“Babe,” he whispers, running his fingers down Niall’s face. Niall wakes slowly, blinking and squinting up at Louis’ face, groaning at how tired he feels. He closes his eyes again, pressing his face into Louis’ collarbone.

“Time ‘s it?” he mumbles, and Louis smiles softly, pressing his lips to Niall’s hair.

“Too early. Harry and Li are coming over, though.”

“Rude of ‘em,” Niall comments after a moment’s pause, lifting his head up to yawn before falling back into the pillow. Louis sits up, still smiling down at Niall, who gives him a grin back after a moment, because even though he’s still _sad_ and _hurt_ Louis is sunshine and when he smiles at you, you can’t _not_ smile back.

They’re interrupted by a soft _knock_ at the door, and Niall jumps a bit at the sound as Louis laughs, getting off the bed and padding over to the door. He opens it, letting it Harry and Liam, both of whom look as tired as Louis. They walked in, Harry falling onto the end of the bed with a light groan, Liam sitting down in the chair nearby.

“Hmm,” Louis hums as he shuts the door and walks back over the bed, sitting up against the headboard. Niall automatically migrates to him, settling his head on Louis’ stomach, where Louis starts to card his fingers through Niall’s hair again. They sit there in comfortable silence for a moment before Harry sighs, pushing himself up enough to look at Niall and Louis, eyes conveying a variety of emotions.

“Got off the phone with Zayn a while ago.”

Both Niall’s and Louis’ eyebrows go up at that, and Niall looks up at Louis with concern on his face as Louis continues to stare at Harry, expression going from surprise to cold consideration.

“He answered the phone for you?” Louis asks carefully, and Harry looks confused as he nods.

“He didn’t say much, just…” Harry lets the word trail off for a moment, “Just that he was tired. Didn’t want to deal with it anymore.”

“You tried to get him to reconsider, didn’ you,” Niall says, and Harry looks downcast as he nods again. Niall sighs, reaching his hand down toward Harry, who takes it gratefully. Louis looks toward the crack in the curtains, the sun slowly rising.

“Just a few hours before they’re going to announce it,” Liam speaks up, and Louis looks around to see him looking toward the window, too.

“Don’ think the fans’ll take it well,” Niall comments, and Louis snorts at the understatement.

“‘M glad we’ve got a couple of days until the next concert,” Harry says, still stretched over the end of the bed, eyes closed and hand clasped in Niall’s.

“What’re we gonna do after tour, though?” Niall asks after a few minutes more of silence, staring at the ceiling, asking what they were all thinking. Louis looks over to Liam, who’s looking back at him, biting his lip.

“We’re gonna release our fifth album,” Harry mumbles, eyes still closed, “We’re not going to end just because he doesn’t want to be a part of us anymore.”

“Can we?” Louis questions, and Harry’s eyes pop open, sending Louis a harsh look and squeezing Niall’s hand a bit harder.

“Why can’t we?”

“We aren’t One Direction without Zayn,” Liam muses, and Niall can feel Harry tense, about to retort when Liam continues, “How many times’ve we said that over the years?”

Everyone takes a moment, Harry taking a deep breath and dropping back onto the bed.

“We are, though,” Louis decides, and everyone looks to him. He meets each of their gazes determinedly, “We are One Direction, even without him.”

Niall smiles up at him, and Liam reaches forward to give his ankle a small squeeze. They lounge there in silence for another couple of minutes before Niall sighs again.

“Still hurts,” he says, and Louis brushes his fingers down Niall’s jaw again.

“Don’t think that’ll stop for a long while,” Liam comments, and Louis nods.

“Think we’re allowed to be a bit hurt, a bit angry, a bit betrayed.”

“Even though we all kind of expected it?” Harry questions, and this time Liam grips Harry’s leg reassuringly.

“Even with that, yeah,” he replies.

“We’ll be okay,” Louis whispers, taking his hand from Niall’s head and linking his fingers with Niall’s free hand, staring back out the window, “We’ll be okay.”

Niall gives Louis’ hand a squeeze, and that’s what really makes him believe his words.

They’ll be more than okay.

 

**Author's Note:**

> find me at [asocialfoxpaw](asocialfoxpaw.tumblr.com) or sometimes [onedirectionaremyfirstlove](onedirectionaremyfirstlove.tumblr.com)
> 
> sorry if they seemed a little ooc? especially with Niall actually crying about Zayn leaving. I wanted that but it felt like I was pushing it. 
> 
> also p.s. I hate my life a little rn bc my new computer stopped working the other day and I'm immensely glad I invested a little bit of money into a chromebook this year bc I wouldn't have a computer at all rn if I hadn't. that said I seriously hate writing without Word. Google docs frustrates me. but it's all I've got for at least 2 weeks.
> 
> **edit: I had to go back and add all the italics and _I really hate google docs_**


End file.
